Pay close attention everyone, because I have something important to say. And I’ll only bother to say it this once, so if you don’t pay attention now, you’ll miss it completely. Are you read? Here we go:
It’s not a phase.
I’m not going outgrow this.
I’m nearly thirty years old now, so whatever is in my personality is probably not going to “grow away”. You would have to talk me into changing it.
You may think I’m being childish, for all I know you think I am immature and pretty weird. You may even look at me and see some sort of freak who refuses to accept that she’s not a teenager anymore. Well, in that case: We need to talk.
Let’s ignore the absurdity of the notion that one look at me would tell you everything about me for a moment, and focus on what matters here: You have absolutely no basis for your assumptions, and you have no right whatsoever to judge me. And while you might think certain things are childish and immature, has it occurred to you that your opinion (and that’s all it is, an opinion) might not be as valid to everyone else as it is to you?
Now, I understand if you won’t listen to me, given that I’m probably very biased. I’m talking about myself and my life after all. My own opinion, especially about what matters to me, is not enough to convince anyone, and it shouldn’t be. Not if I want to retain the right to mock you for basing all your statements on nothing but your own opinion, right?
So think of it this way: All adults watch TV. All adults watch movies, and nearly everyone watches the Super Bowl. And they do it because they want a break. A respite from whatever they need to get away from at that moment, that bores and slowly dulls the mind. Why does it matter that I watch “StarWars” instead of “Failure to Launch”? What do you care that I read “Lord of the Rings” and “PC Gamer” instead of “InStyle” and “Entertainment Weekly”? It’s all a form of escapism anyway.
Your problem is that you misunderstand the type of escape it is. Yes, of course I’m escaping from something, but unlike what you think, I’m not escaping from reality into a happy fuzzy place of dreams and fantasies.
I’m breaking out of the dungeon of mediocrity and making a mad dash for freedom into the world where things matter, where there really is such a thing as noble souls and true heroes. Into the world where the bad guys eventually lose. Where Inigo Montoya gets his revenge, Darth Vader dies to save Luke, where there is a spot on the world map marked “here there be dragons”, and where people really can be good, noble, and unselfish.
Why would I ever give that up? More to the point, why do you think I would be better off if I did? And while we are on the subject, why do you think my life would be better if I wore longer skirts, lower boots, and more discreet nail polish? Do you really think it’s that easy to make everything right? Then you’re the one who is delusional here.
Ignore for a moment the fact that we barely know each other. Ignore for a moment our mutual disdain and contempt for each other’s taste in music, clothing, and literature. Ignore for a moment the fact that none of us will ever be able to change the other’s mind. Ignore all that and ask yourself, why does it matter?
What do you care why a perfect stranger dresses weird, listens to weird music, watches “childish” movies and counts the days until the next major video game release? The way I see it, either you’re jealous, in which case I pity you, or you somehow feel threatened by me and my hobbies, in which case I despise you.
Prove me wrong. I dare you.
While you’re working on that, I will be busy over here, writing my poems, playing my games, reading my fantasy novels, and watching “The Princess Bride” for the 500th time. And I will be happy, and somehow remain convinced that maybe everything isn’t lost yet. Maybe there is still something good left in this world? I think so. In fact, I’m sure of it.
And tomorrow, I will celebrate that with black nail polish and purple lipstick.